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No One Can Make Your Life Happy But Yourself


People don't like being told that they make mistakes, but whenever you feel unhappy, you'll probably discover your own responsibility. There is no other person but you who can do something about that situation, that relationship, that poison that consumes you. Others may want to help, but their help is not always what you need — sometimes however good the intention is, the result is bad. 

You are the person who can help you in the first place, whatever the problem is, and change your life so that your miserable feeling vanishes into the air. That magic won't come by itself, neither will be delivered by someone else, a good angel who decided to help. You are the person on whom everything depends in your life and that is what you must keep in mind when you look for the reasons of your unhappiness. 

Sometimes it seems like other people are to blame — because some of them criticizes you, judges you, frowns at you, bullies you. But it is you who allows them to do it. When you realize that it does not have to be like this, it's like an awakening.

Deep inside, however, you are afraid. You fear disapproval. You are afraid that someone might think you a bad person. So you rather stay silent, however loud you are shouting inside. You don't exert any power to defend yourself. You let them torture you by remarks or do you other harm just because you are afraid of their judgement. You shouldn't be. 

This is your life. No one can make you comfortable with it but yourself. Other people won't do it for you. Some of them will help. Others will try to stab you in the back. So it is your responsibility to be your own guard and protector. It is you who can make you happy in the first place. Having kind people around who love you is important, but they alone can't make you happy. Your life needs your attention and affectionate care, you know. The source of your happiness is within you, and you must find it inside before you can share it with those you love.  

There are a lot of movies that tell a story of self-improvement with a hero or heroine whose life is miserable until he or she takes the responsibility and starts changes that lead to a happy result. One of the most compelling pieces must be American Beauty. I think it is Kevin Spacey's best performance ever. He plays a man who has no joy in his life and feels completely dead inside for he has nothing to satisfy him: no respect from people, no achievement to be proud of. Then, he meets this girl who is his daughter's friend, and his increasing interest in her motivates him to change his life for good. This movie can be an incentive for you to start working on yourself. It is realistic, for such self-improvement can be achieved by anyone who really wants it. And, you know, what can be done must be done. It is never too late to start. 



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