Depth & Insight

Relationships are the most contrasting experiences in our lives meaning that they cause the greatest joy and also the greatest suffering. To have a harmonious relationship we need to learn how to evolve together instead of evolve apart. We need to find a way to cultivate harmony while allowing personal change to take place. One of the most important keys for helping that harmony take place is cultivating unconditional love instead of attachment.

What most of us call love or falling in love is not actually love, it's attachment. Unconditional love is the state of being purely positively focused in an attitude of appreciation for something that we are paying attention to. That's much different from what we actually call ‘love’ on a normal basis. What we call love — which is actually attachment — is the need for another person. What that means is you fulfill some need which I don't feel capable of fulfilling for myself so I feel a void when you are not around because the absence of you means that need will be unfulfilled. Thus my happiness is dependent on what you do and don't do. That is attachment. That is not unconditional love. We will lead happier lives if we can get into the modality of unconditional love and provide our own needs for ourselves instead of seeking them through other people.

This does not mean that you need to learn how to stay in relationships with people who harm you or who you don't actually feel enjoyment by being around. That is not unconditional love. You only know unconditional love when that love and your happiness is not conditioned upon what other people do or don't do.

Of course, the art of finding unconditional love is a practice even for those of us who are the most evolved on the planet. How many people do you actually know that have mastered unconditional love? People who can remove their own happiness from what other people do or don't do to them or for them? No one, right? Even those who are pretty good at cultivating harmonious relationships still have not mastered it, so don't expect yourself to practice unconditional love with perfection 24 hours a day. It's a practice for every single one of us. No matter how evolved you think you are you still have got more to go when it comes to unconditional love.

Every single thing you do that gets you more happiness, every single thing you do that brings you more peace is going to help you to come into contact with learning how to love unconditionally. Your quest towards enlightenment is the same thing as your quest towards unconditionally loving. So literally anything you do to benefit your life is going to be helping you to learn it.

There are things in life you deem important enough to enter fights or battles in order to get them or keep them no matter what it costs you. But many of the battles of your life are such that you enter without realizing what you are doing and having any need to be part of. This happens because you can't control every single event and person around you so you don't always get from others what you like or expect or deserve. There are battles you choose to fight because the victory is important to you since you believe in your cause and keep going regardless of the obstacles placed in your way.

Just stop for a moment and look back at the tasks that you have successfully completed up to this time and ask yourself how many battles you had in those years behind you and how many of them was really important. How many of them helped you to move forward in your life?

Many of the battles we fight on a daily basis are battles that have no purpose and do not make sense at all. You are wasting your time and energy when fighting for things that, even if they are won, leave you exactly where you have been or even make you fall backward. You should exercise your powers only for good reason, because trying to convince some idiot of your truth for example is a battle that you are fighting in vain. When you are complaining about the weather or allow yourself to get stressed because you are stuck in a traffic jam and your row of cars is not moving fast enough you are wasting your energy. Is it really important to retort when somebody addresses you with irritation and with the obvious intention to hurt you by words he or she says out of temper?

Many of the cases we choose to fight a battle that has no consequence to our lives is about pride and sense of justice. You regard someone's words as a personal attack and rush to defend yourself, but exercising your energy in that way will not bring you any reward in your life. Regardless of the result of that battle the effect of it is minimal or zero which means it is not an important battle.

So the most important word you should learn to say is NO. When you understand that you don't need to persuade every single person you know and don't need to complain of the rain, you can lead your life more effectively, because you can preserve your energy for the battles that are really important.

The first step toward that is to realize that your battles are too many. You are wasting too much energy on things that are not important and you can't accomplish what is important because you get exhausted. If you don't realize this in time you might push yourself too hard which can result in serious consequences like a stroke for instance. Surviving a stroke makes people view things from a new perspective. Those people learn what is important enough to be concerned with and what is not. But you don't have to survive an illness in order to change your perspective.

Just enjoy your life while caring only for those who are really important to you. Don't complain when the weather is bad, instead be grateful that you have legs to walk in the rain and a healthy constitution so that you can suck in and fill your lungs with the air refreshed by that rain.

Fight only those battles that are really important and you will find that the battles you are engaging in are very few. But those few are worth using all your capacities and exercising all your powers in order to win them. Actually you keep fighting as long as it is necessary because you are bent on winning them. Most of our failures are not the results of our being incapable or weak. They are the results of our fighting too many battles that are good for nothing so basically all we do is letting our energy leak out.

Always ask yourself: Do I REALLY have to fight this battle? Is it an important one? Does it make any difference if I win? Does it contribute in any way to my happiness? If not, let things be as they are. You don't have to pick everything up that is put in front of you. Select what battles are worth the fight for most people who try to involve you in a quarrel only want your time and attention. But this is their battle, not yours. If it has no place in your life, force yourself to say no and walk away unruffled. Preserve your energy because you will need it when fighting for whatever is really important to you.

I think we need to talk about the difference between vulnerability and weakness, because too often you meet people who conflate the two. They think that vulnerability is weakness by definition. If you look up the definition of the two, you'll find that vulnerable means susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm and it comes from the Latin word vulnerā(re) which means to wound. Weakness is the state or condition of lacking strength. This is very interesting because to be vulnerable is essentially to admit that you can be wounded and an acknowledgement of that to move forward anyway.

It takes courage to be vulnerable

If you think about it most of us are afraid of being vulnerable because we are afraid we'll be perceived as weak, but by definition it takes courage to be vulnerable, to admit that you can be wounded, to get in the boxing ring and know that you might get hit. And the irony is that the weakest people in the world are the ones that can't be vulnerable. They are the ones that never put themselves up for playing, they never put themselves up for hurt.

What is real strength?

Those of you who avoid relationships right now or avoid approaching that guy or woman because you are afraid that you'll be vulnerable know that that's not strength. Strength isn't standing in the corner putting up these walls around yourself and stopping yourself from actually getting hurt in the first place. That's not strength. That's a fake kind of strength. But it's just this vulnerā and as soon as it comes down what you have is a really weak person who lacks courage.

Being vulnerable means you are living

Some people are so terrified of their own vulnerability that they never actually put themselves in the game. You don't want to be one of those people because those people end up dead inside, because they never actually end up living. Just because you exist it doesn't mean that you are living. Living is when you're actually putting yourself out there, throwing some punches and acknowledging that you might get hit in the process.

What if you get wounded?

Have the trust in yourself and your strength to know that you can heal from that, that you can get over it. However badly you are wounded you can pick up and get going again.

Don't be so afraid to be wounded that you actually hide away in the corner and never put yourself up for it. If you want to get vulnerable, go out there and take some risks. Be prepared to be vulnerable, be prepared to stand up and stand up alone if you have to.

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.” (Boyhood)

In this article I want us to take a movie and review it not in terms of how great the movie is, but look at it in terms of what life lessons we can get from that movie. Today’s movie, Boyhood is one of those films with about a hundred of life lessons. So now we are focusing on one simple life lesson that we can get from Boyhood.

What Boyhood Is About?

Boyhood is a movie that starts with a 6-year-old boy and follows him through his childhood until he reaches his adult life and begins college. You watch him age twelve years and it's the same actor going through this whole journey. And that's fascinating because although he is acting you're watching a real person grow up and go through his adolescent phases and go into adulthood. It's kind of weird. A lot of people think this film is a long film — it's 3 hours long — for me it wasn't long. I saw a guy's life condensed from 12 years into 3 hours and it scared the crap out of me. I first felt nostalgic as I watched it because it made me think of my own childhood and the passing of the years, and how you change and develop and get awkward and go through that, and all of these different phases of life made me realize there were such distinct phases to life and just how quickly they go.

Why We Need to Appreciate More the Life Phase That We Are In Right Now?

After the nostalgia I felt quite sad looking back and thinking of my own life having gone so quickly and then I felt nervous because I suddenly realized while I'm sitting here reminiscing about the childhood that is over I'm in another phase of my life right now that will also be over soon and it has an end. Every phase has an end and sometimes we are so busy reminiscing about the phase that has already ended that we forget that we are in one right now and that itself needs to be appreciated, we need to find a way to appreciate and be in the moment in the phase of life that we are in because that too will pass.

Seneca in his book On the Shortness of Life talked about life as being short only if you didn't know how to live it and didn't know how to use your time. I think when we get preoccupied with reminiscing or preoccupied with the future we allow the present to pass us by and then life does become incredibly short. We do wake up one day and realize that a year has passed or 5 years have passed or a decade has passed. I took from this movie that we need to appreciate the phase of life that we are in.

Here are 3 tips for enjoying and appreciating the phase of life that we are in right now:

1. Just pause for a moment and actually think of what's great about the phase that you are in right now. Because every phase comes with its unique advantages. Some people say school is the best days of your life. I think school has its pros but I definitely think school has its cons as well. When you are out of school you are into a new phase and there are new things to appreciate and the same is true when you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, wherever. We don't just define a phase by age, it can be defined by what you happened to be doing in that part of your life. What is good about the phase of your life that you are in right now?

2. Think of something that is worth doing in this phase of your life. Instead of constantly thinking about what you want to do before you die ask yourself what would be worthwhile right now while you are in this phase. What would aid your growth and aid your learning or what would just feel like living in this phase of your life?

3. Keep a daily list of what made today count. When I started alongside my daily to-do list keeping a list of what actually made today count — sometimes it was when I got something done for my to-do list I moved it over to the list of what made today count — but it wasn't just stuff I got done, it was things that I thought or things that I experienced or moments I had with people. I don't want this to be confused with saying how many things you can get done in a day because productivity isn't the same as presence. It's not the same as being present, as actually appreciating the day, appreciating the moment, feeling and sensing and enjoying the experiences that you are having. Those aren't always to-dos.

What made today count? In that way you will begin to appreciate every single day in this phase of your life instead of getting to the end of another year and seeing that that year just went by and you barely noticed it. So that's it 3 quick things to appreciate this phase of your life. If you haven't seen Boyhood, go and watch it. If you are like me you will feel sad, because it is sad to see time go so quickly and to see someone just so swiftly move through their life and to see how quick that goes, but it also does give you such a tremendous appreciation of the time that you have now and how important it is just to try and slow it down as much as possible because this phase will be over before we know it.

I hope you enjoyed this article, leave me a comment on Facebook and let me know what you think of either the film or this topic. If you are not following Depth&Insight on Facebook right now go to my Facebook page and click on the Like button because I have many more articles for you in store to help you keep up to date with our world by taking all the knowledge I have to offer to you. See you soon.

What is the mistake that creates every awkward date that you ever go on? When people go on a date, they create this big plan for what they will going to do with someone that is absolutely impossible to escape from. For example, a dinner is just an awful idea for the most part unless you already know that you like the person and they like you and you already have a connection and attraction. Going to a dinner date is really a nightmare because let's say after fifteen minutes you realize that you and this person have nothing in common. They have just said something that you thought was crazy, and you say to yourself: "I can't be in this person's company in the next hour." But you have just ordered your main course. Now you are stuck there for the next 45 minutes to an hour with this person and then at the end of the main course what will you going to do if he or she orders a dessert? You screwed for another 30 minutes!

It also looks kind of desperate when you don't know somebody, when you don't know if you have attraction and you have put down your whole evening to see them, the message that we send is "I have a whole evening for someone that I barely even know". How do we get around this?

Divide your date in three compartments

Well, we want you to think of your date as being three compartments. How you organize these 3 compartments will determine

● how easy is to escape,

● how stressful the date is, and

● how in control and cool you look in the process.

Going to dinner is like having two thirds of the date up front. That's why it is dangerous because now 20 minutes and you can't leave. What experts suggest is taking one compartment — the first compartment — and having that take place at a separate venue to begin with, then the remaining two thirds. Let's say you want to go for a drink in a bar. That's one third because it is easy to remove yourself from that situation. If you want to leave after one drink because it's not going very well you can, you can make your excuses (“I need to catch up with my friends” or “I need to go home and have some work done”), whatever it is, use that one third as the first venue that you go to.

You can save the remaining two compartments for something else. Let's say there is a bowling area around the corner and you don't tell your partner about that to begin with but the first drink goes really well and after a drink or two you say to him or her: “Now let's go to do something fun. There's a bowling area around the corner, are you good? I gonna kick your ass! Let's go bowling!”

What are the advantages of a venue that is risk-free and easy to escape?

Having one compartment take place somewhere that is easy and risk-free serves two big purposes.

1. You have an escape plan.

If it's not going well you can leave and you haven't committed yourself to the next two hours of something with someone that you don't really like.

2. Your partner has to earn your time.

If your partner is graduating to the second two compartments of the date is because he or she has done something right, he or she has earned it. If you had a great drink and then you said "You know there is a bowling area around the corner, let's go bowling", your partner is going bowling with you because they feel like you have a good time and that's why you say spontaneously "let's go do something else".

In your mind you already had an idea that you might be able to do something else with that person — by the way, that planning is key: you don't want to be stuck having a drink in a bar and have no ideas of where to take this date if it is going well —, but it is showing your partner that this is arising from the fact that he or she has done well and earned it. You haven't just given up an entire evening to someone who you don't know. You are doing it because you like that person.

The point is to divide the date like this so you don't put all the pressure around one activity in a date. The ideal date has one compartment somewhere that is risk-free and easy to leave, and if it is going well, you have the second two thirds in the next place.

Seeing your date in three compartments makes it much easier to manage.

I hope you enjoyed this article, leave me a comment on Facebook. If you are not following Depth&Insight on Facebook right now go to my Facebook page and click on the Like button because I have many more articles for you in store to help you keep up to date with our world by taking all the knowledge I have to offer to you. See you soon.

Many people live with two faces, one is put up to show the world how happy they are and the other is the real one hidden and rarely acknowledged, preserved for private moments. Your real life is far from perfect but you like painting a colorful, happy existence that you can proudly show off to strangers you meet walking down the street, friends on Facebook, colleagues at your workplace and so on. People feel a desire to deceive others into thinking they live the perfect life denying the fact that it is only the seeming of a life. We live outwardly, we want to seem great, which results in short-term satisfaction and long-term frustration. Problem is that you can't wear a mask forever, for the inadequacies of your real life begin to show more and more and finally you'll find impossible to pretend everything is right. We are so ready to make a complete mess out of our lives by putting our energy into pretense instead of working hard to change what is not right.

Have you been there?

Technology got the better of us if you want to hear the truth. Somehow it became more important to capture and share all minute details of everyday life than to live in those moments enjoying them to the fullest. Excuse my sarcasm, but our motto could be something like “if you never post it, it never happened” — this is the way of thinking in modern life. Bad, isn't it? We live our days without ever really being there in the moment because we focus on taking photos of those moments so that we can show our friends in social media how happy we are. We want more and more likes to feel loved and accepted, we want to feel special and popular which is easier online than offline. Thus whatever we do our mind is always on documenting the activity and saving it for social media share which means our attention is at least half diverted. We never really experience things fully because we are never really there.

Feel the sensations of the moment

How can you take a selfie while kissing for instance? If you are happy with that kiss, how can you ever think of taking a photo while doing it? If you are in love, you just can't focus on the likes you will get for that photo from the people who are (more or less) honestly happy for you. Most people never cares if you are happy. Your whole being should be filled with the sensation of the moment, the vibrations that kiss gives you, the thrill that runs through you. Instead you want to prove how happy you are by taking a photo. Now just ask yourself: What if people won't see how you kissed? What if people won't see your happiness? Most people will never see your struggles and darkest thoughts either. It's okay. You should not do things because of them. Your life is not a public show for everyone to see. If you focus on making a display of everything you do all the time, then you live for them, you do things for them. You should do everything for yourself.

However, no problem to write a few lines about it after you went through an experience. After you received all the happiness you could by that kiss, it is no problem to tell those who really care. Afterwards it might occur to you to tell. No sooner. And you might want to take some photos, too. Not to share them on social media, but for your own use. It might be nice to look at those pics sometimes and relive the moment. It might be nice to show them to those who really want to be part of your life. Not to everyone and not publicly, though. And those photos don't have to be perfect. You might lose precious moments of an experience focusing on the best way to take that picture. What if the photo is not perfect? It matters not. Living fully and being in the moment is more important. Or should be.

It does not take long

The happiness you get from virtuality is short-lived and shallow, leaving you with a feeling of dissatisfaction, because you want more. It works the same way as drugs. Somehow we separated ourselves from everything that is natural, building a fake world that seems more satisfying than reality. We want to hide the truth behind that bright surface. How can you truly believe that anyone's life can be changed by just a few clicks? How can you believe that looking good in social media makes you good in real life? How can you believe that showing off your happiness makes you happy? Technology is only a tool, no more. It is very useful when someone we love lives far away from us, enabling us to keep in touch, be part of their lives. It is handy when we need information, too. Technology is a blessing if you use it for the right purposes, helping yourself to a happier and fuller life in reality. A life that is not displaced by virtuality.

Why do we need to seem perfect?

We lie to ourselves often and happiness derived not from living our real life but existing virtually is the biggest lie we ever told. Why do we need that lie? Obviously, we need it because we want to please. Deep inside there's something that forces us to do whatever is approved by others so that we are accepted. We want the world to believe that we live the perfect life, everything in order, everything going right. We are terribly afraid to show our imperfections. We feel that we must be the perfect worker, the perfect spouse, the perfect parent, the perfect everything. We need others to think that we are happy. We need them to think that we are useful and well-grounded in life. We never ask ourselves if we are truly happy. We never think how to please our own soul and heart. We don't realize that people who really matter are few and such that they never ask that we please them.

What do you truly want?

The truth is that we are not satisfied with the amount of love and attention we get in real life. Everybody wants approval, praise, kindness, etc. We want to feel that we are important to others. People who can't get what they need in reality start to seek it in a virtual existence. You might not feel worthy and loved so you go for a few hundred likes to fill the void in your heart. Perhaps you feel good about yourself for a few hours afterwards. However, the happiness caused by virtual love quickly expires and you are left drained and dissatisfied, desiring even more likes so that you can feel, not happy this time, but some joy at all. You need more and more likes to feel okay, never realizing that it is not the likes that you truly want. You want them as a substitute for true love.

What makes you so desperate to escape reality?

We all carry burdens that we hope to put down. For a while we seem to succeed in that, but then, they return with extra force, because they have to teach us something that we are reluctant to learn. Some people hate their jobs. Others hate their partners. There are people who hate their whole lives even. However, making the necessary changes so that we can be happier seems too hard so we do everything we can to escape reality. These days not only books and movies offer the opportunity to turn our back on our lives, but the virtual world that social media offers enables us to create a new life. This is easy and simple. When reality gets too harsh we are tempted to escape into virtuality, a world where we can be at least seemingly perfect. Of course you know it is a lie. You must face that fact each time you fall back into the everyday routine of your real life. Yet, you can't wait to get back to the virtual world so that you can forget what your real life looks like.

Not so hard to return

It doesn't have to be that way. Knowing the root of your fears enables you to change your life. That is if you are willing. You can manage and use technology in the proper way so your life becomes a beautiful living thing instead of a shadow. When you no longer call 'life' something that is only a tool you get motivated to turn your attention inward. You don't fall into the trap of focusing on what others think instead of what you truly want. You don't compare yourself to others all the time. If you want to be truly happy, enjoy the moment heartily and gratefully.

“Men who pursue a multitude of women fit neatly into two categories. Some seek their own subjective and unchanging dream of a woman in all women. Others are prompted by a desire to possess the endless variety of the objective female world.

The obsession of the former is lyrical: what they seek in women is themselves, their ideal, and since an ideal is by definition something that can never be found, they are disappointed again and again. The disappointment that propels them from woman to woman gives their inconstancy a kind of romantic excuse, so that many sentimental women are touched by their unbridled philandering.

The obsession of the latter is epic, and women see nothing the least bit touching in it: the man projects no subjective ideal on women, and since everything interests him, nothing can disappoint him. This inability to be disappointed has something scandalous about it. The obsession of the epic womanizer strikes people as lacking in redemption (redemption by disappointment).

Because the lyrical womanizer always runs after the same type of woman, we even fail to notice when he exchanges one mistress for another. His friends perpetually cause misunderstandings by mixing up his lovers and calling them by the same name.

In pursuit of knowledge, epic womanizers (and of course Tomas belonged in their ranks) turn away from conventional feminine beauty, of which they quickly tire, and inevitably end up as curiosity collectors. They are aware of this and a little ashamed of it, and to avoid causing their friends embarrassment, they refrain from appearing in public with their mistresses. ...

Of each erotic experience his memory recorded only the steep and narrow path of sexual conquest: the first piece of verbal aggression, the first touch, the first obscenity he said to her and she to him, the minor perversions he could make her acquiesce in and the ones she held out against. All else he excluded (almost pedantically) from his memory. He even forgot where he had first seen one or another woman, if that event occurred before his sexual offensive began.

The young woman smiled dreamily as she went on about the storm, and he looked at her in amazement and something akin to shame: she had experienced something beautiful, and he had failed to experience it with her. The two ways in which their memories reacted to the evening storm sharply delimit love and nonlove.

By the word nonlove I do not wish to imply that he took a cynical attitude to the young woman, that, as present-day parlance has it, he looked upon her as a sex object; on the contrary, he was quite fond of her, valued her character and intelligence, and was willing to come to her aid if ever she needed him. He was not the one who behaved shamefully towards her; it was his memory, for it was his memory that, unbeknown to him, had excluded her from the sphere of love.

The brain appears to possess a special area which we might call poetic memory and which records everything that charms or touches us, that makes our lives beautiful. ... Love begins with a metaphor. Which is to say, love begins at the point when a woman enters her first word into our poetic memory.”

— Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Do you feel lost sometimes? If you are a woman of depth and feeling, you probably have to face the fact that you are different from most of the people around you. You hate small talk because you want to go deep every time you have a conversation. You ask questions that never occurred to other people, calling their attention to things that they perhaps chose not to see because they are afraid of them. You always tell the truth, even if the person concerned is not happy to hear it. This quality of yours is responsible for driving men away from you. Men often choose not to have anything to do with you because you know what you want, show your feelings and tell them what you need.

You meet very few men of the same depth and feeling that you have which results in long years of single life. You fall in love very rarely. The men you meet don't want such depth as yours in their relationships, they just want some amusement, they reject responsibilities. That's why you choose not to waste your time on them. Relationships that lack depth and long conversations make you unhappy. Men who refuse to open up make you unhappy. You want to dive into his soul, his thoughts, his past, his personality. You want to know more about him, you want to understand him, wishing he could understand you. You want to connect to him on a deeper level, you want intimacy. If you can't find a man who is your match you rather stay single. Being single is better for you than toiling along in a bad relationship.

Enjoying yourself is not enough for you. You want more. You want meaning. If you find a man who seems the one that can make you happy, you are not afraid to take steps toward him. You do everything in your power to please him. Yet, you are shocked to see he is retreating, he is frightened, he does not want what you have to offer. A lot of men are afraid of women who show their feelings, tell their thoughts and have intense emotions. Love is not a game for you. You put your whole self in the relationship and expect the man to do the same. You do this despite the fact that you see his faults and flaws very clearly. You understand his struggles, you perceive what is going on inside his soul. You find it natural that you have that skill. Men, however, find it weird. Men are not used to women who are like that. Men are afraid of women who are like that. He is afraid that you want his soul.

He knows you take him seriously. He knows you will never play with his feelings. He does not really understand who and what you are, because he never met women of that sort. He thinks you have ideas and insights almost like men do. But the strangest of all is your capacity of having those intense emotions that go so deep, invading heart and body. He knows you want real attachment and intimacy. You seek a soul mate in him. You can't enjoy a relationship without deep sentiments, your soul is like burning fire. You are a bit too eager and seeing his hesitation you feel hurt, turned down, rejected. You realize he does not know what he wants and that makes you think he does not want you at all. You surmise you are not important to him. This makes you feel bad for you take it as an offense. You feel hurt because you can't be happy with a cold man who is emotionally unavailable. You don’t want a man who built a wall around his heart for protection. You need to feel his love and attachment without which you find the relationship is mere vegetation. Men, however, at least most of them, feel this is something too serious. Something that implies duty and responsibility. Not all of them is capable of understanding your soul so you must be patient when seeking the man who is your match. He is a thoughtful being with just as deep feelings as you have. He needs you just as much as you need him. Meeting a woman like you will be a great surprise for him — it might be that he already decided women are all shallow. You'll be a surprise to him and he'll be a surprise to you. Just wait for your time, dear.

Sometimes we are so much in love with an idealized image of someone that we cannot see the real person at all. We are very slow to realize that he is playing with us, feeding our hopes but realizing nothing of our expectations. It is pretty tough to discover that the image you created of him is fake for you fell into the trap of self-delusion. Of course he acts like he needs you, but he keeps you at a distance all along, making excuses like he is too busy to go out with you, etc. Is that true? Can it be? It makes you pretty mad when you realize that he keeps rejecting you but has time for others. This happens when a man does not truly want a woman. He enjoys your attention and care, but he does not love you. Do you need that kind of thing? I guess not. You know it is up to you to create your boundaries. It is easy to know someone is not interested in you because it is always you who calls, sends messages, communicates. I know you are interested in him and love talking to him, but do you get attention from him in return when you need it? Why are you so desperate trying to make it work? You don't have to prove anything. You don't have to go out of your way to make it work when you see he is not interested. Be honest with yourself and admit that you could not impress him. It does not mean that you are not pretty or anything. It just means it is not you that he wants so he does not deserve your time at all. Perhaps you have hopes that the situation will change, but is this a realistic expectation? Why do you stick to someone who always finds something more important to do when it comes to meet you? Just make him understand that the game he is playing is below you. Respect yourself and walk away from a person who keeps hurting you. He can be the most attractive man in the world, his appearance is worth nothing if he is not interested in you, right? Possibly he is just not meant for you. Don't waste your time waiting for him to realize he loves you. He probably won't. Be good to yourself and move on.

Depth & Insight

Learning the Art of Unconditional Love (The Most Important Key to Have a Successful Relationship)

Are Your Battles Worth Fighting? The Importance of Choosing Your Battles Carefully

If Your Love Is Real, Pain Is Also Part of It (Paulo Coelho)

What Does It Really Mean to Be Vulnerable? Vulnerability vs. Weakness

It takes courage to be vulnerable

What is real strength?

Being vulnerable means you are living

What if you get wounded?

What Life Lesson the Movie Boyhood Can Teach Us?

What Boyhood Is About?

Why We Need to Appreciate More the Life Phase That We Are In Right Now?

Here are 3 tips for enjoying and appreciating the phase of life that we are in right now:

Why Is It a Good Idea to Divide Your First Date in Three Compartments?

Divide your date in three compartments

What are the advantages of a venue that is risk-free and easy to escape?

1. You have an escape plan.

2. Your partner has to earn your time.

Do You Live the Perfect Life Without Ever Being Happy?

Have you been there?

Feel the sensations of the moment

It does not take long

Why do we need to seem perfect?

What do you truly want?

What makes you so desperate to escape reality?

Not so hard to return

Two Categories of Men Who Pursue a Multitude of Women (Milan Kundera)

If You Are a Woman of Depth and Feeling

When It Is Time to Move On

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