Depth & Insight

Life is a paradox. It is too long for us to notice how short it is. People are stuck in bad relationships or situations, waiting for the right moment to move on until they realize 5 or 10 or 20 years has flown away, or maybe their whole life is spent. Just look around yourself and tell me how many people you know live the life that makes them feel happy and free? How many gets up with a smile on a Monday morning, eagerly waiting for the day to start because they love what they are doing or enjoy their jobs so much? How many undertakes the struggle to reach all the dreams they have? Can you name one person who is like that? And what about yourself? Do you live the life that deep inside you wish to have?

Most people want something different from what they have whether it is a workplace, a relationship or a life situation that makes them miserable, and yet, they do not try to change. They mention where they want to be jokingly, never stirring a bit to start in that direction. Why? And why do they hate and envy those who do?

The explanation is simple. We are inclined to sacrifice our long-term happiness in order to keep ourselves comfortable in the present. You might be asking how one can be comfortable while suffering from whatever is painful and frustrating. Easily. Staying within your comfort zone provides a false sense of security, certainty, stability. Our present situation is what we know and what we are used to. Whatever change we are contemplating is uncertain and fearful. What if I change my situation and everything gets worse? You are afraid to do something because you stick to the illusion of security. However, the truth is it can be worse even if you change nothing.

Never having learnt to fight for whatever your goal is and ignore whoever keeps you back, your life is just drifting with no self-development. This is what severely affects your happiness, your relationships and everything you do on this earth while you have time to spend. Your reluctance to take responsibility for your actions leads to drifting away from everything you want. This is like burying yourself alive.

Another thing that keeps you back from changing your life is fear of making a decision. Many people worry that their decision might prove to be the wrong thing making them sink even lower. This is the reason so many people tends to procrastinate. However, thinking it through you must realize that most decisions are not irreversible. We are usually afraid that we can't undo our actions, but most actions, if you come to think of it, can be corrected later. If you were wrong to marry this person, for example, you can easily get a divorce. What this basically means is that the responsibility we fear when making a decision is a myth.

Speaking of decisions, you should not think that the big ones are those that affect your life considerably. Getting married, for instance, is an important event, but it is not the only decision that influences your relationship. You make decisions every day that take you in a certain direction. In fact, everyday decisions are the most important ones because they become habits after a while. They become automatic. And the change that seemed frightening at first becomes easy later. In the end you get used to it and it just feels natural, normal and okay.

Don't be afraid of making the wrong decision because 'bad' and 'good' do not exist when it comes to change your life. These phrases contain a good deal of relativity. Something that is good for you can be bad for someone else. Something that is good for you today can be bad for you tomorrow. Just know that by not making any decision you make a decision. You decide not to change your situation. Is maintaining your present state good for you? If not, you should make a new decision.

After a while we get tired. With so many thinking and contemplating done our mental energy and capacity of making decision finally get exhausted. If you carry a burden like a bad relationship or a bad life situation with you it's no use procrastinating, because you render yourself incapable of any important decision. Thus you rob yourself of the chance of happiness by hiding from the world that you deem dangerous.

Everybody can recognize that their situation is bad soon enough because of the suffering it inflicts on them. However, keep in mind that people who complain, but make no change, have not been suffering enough yet. We humans are such perverse creatures. If you think something is important you take action, don't you? If you take no action, your own happiness might not be important enough for you.

Taking action, however, does not necessary involve one big change in your life that cuts all your ties at once. It is wiser to take small steps every day, creating new habits, leaving your comfort zone as much as possible. Making small progress won't generate any feeling of change at first, but it is certainly taking you toward the life you want. Very few people choose this solution, though. Most of them choose the drastic way after they encounter a tragedy for instance. Stroke, cancer, heart problems can be the cause of change when we have become too rigid resisting change too much. Life then brings forth hard lessons to teach us. If small signs are ignored a tragedy happens that either breaks us for good or forces us to rebuild our life after all is said and done.

People who are not afraid to look in the mirror and face themselves in order to take control of their lives are respectable. So much courage is needed to sweep out all the trash from our minds. Mistaken beliefs, wounds caused by other people, deeply rooted fears are hard to remove, but this removal is the most important task we have in life. Unfortunately many people refuse to do it. They rather go though life suffering and sink into their graves with bitterness because of the lost chance to become who they want to be. You should not make that choice. It is never too late to start a change. Feel your heart with your hand — is it beating? Then you are alive. It is not late. You only have to start changing your life now.