Sometimes you feel like nothing can hurt you. You feel so much above ordinary fears and self-doubt. When things go right, and life grants you something you wished for, you might think you are invincible. You will never get old, never die. Especially very young people might feel that they can accomplish anything, they can get anything they want. This feeling is natural for the young. But then, something happens. When you reach middle age, you feel like you have been deceived. As if somebody promised you that you would always be happy and live well. Some kind of disappointment creeps into your heart, there's a vague feeling of loss. You don't feel invincible anymore. Some wounds make you be aware of your vulnerability and you lose your courage. Trying new things gets incredibly hard. You don't even wish for novelty anymore. An existence devoid of trouble is the very best you hope for. Thoughts of happiness become disturbing, because they feel like dreams, surreal and never to be achieved. You almost think there is no chance of happiness in real life. Everything you believed in your youth becomes shattered for there's a certainty now in your heart that you can't do more, you can't be more. All the experience that you acquired throughout your life tells you it is foolish to hope for happiness. Quiet contentment is all you can reasonably hope for. I often ask myself why time brings such convictions on people later in life? Why don't we keep our courage? Where is the feeling of invincibility we had in our youth? Where are all those hopes? Why are we silent when we should express what we wish for? Where do our dreams go? And what if we tried to sustain some portion of the feelings we had in our youth? What if we kept dreaming and wishing for good results? What if we dared to open our hearts again without fear of getting hurt (like we have never been hurt before)? What if we tried to keep our hopes alive despite all the disappointments we might have suffered? What if we still tried to be happy despite all?
