Depth & Insight

In this article I want us to take a movie and review it not in terms of how great the movie is, but look at it in terms of what life lessons we can get from that movie. Today’s movie, Boyhood is one of those films with about a hundred of life lessons. So now we are focusing on one simple life lesson that we can get from Boyhood.

Boyhood is a movie that starts with a 6-year-old boy and follows him through his childhood until he reaches his adult life and begins college. You watch him age twelve years and it's the same actor going through this whole journey. And that's fascinating because although he is acting you're watching a real person grow up and go through his adolescent phases and go into adulthood. It's kind of weird. A lot of people think this film is a long film — it's 3 hours long — for me it wasn't long. I saw a guy's life condensed from 12 years into 3 hours and it scared the crap out of me. I first felt nostalgic as I watched it because it made me think of my own childhood and the passing of the years, and how you change and develop and get awkward and go through that, and all of these different phases of life made me realize there were such distinct phases to life and just how quickly they go.

After the nostalgia I felt quite sad looking back and thinking of my own life having gone so quickly and then I felt nervous because I suddenly realized while I'm sitting here reminiscing about the childhood that is over I'm in another phase of my life right now that will also be over soon and it has an end. Every phase has an end and sometimes we are so busy reminiscing about the phase that has already ended that we forget that we are in one right now and that itself needs to be appreciated, we need to find a way to appreciate and be in the moment in the phase of life that we are in because that too will pass.

Seneca in his book On the Shortness of Life talked about life as being short only if you didn't know how to live it and didn't know how to use your time. I think when we get preoccupied with reminiscing or preoccupied with the future we allow the present to pass us by and then life does become incredibly short. We do wake up one day and realize that a year has passed or 5 years have passed or a decade has passed. I took from this movie that we need to appreciate the phase of life that we are in.

1. Just pause for a moment and actually think of what's great about the phase that you are in right now. Because every phase comes with its unique advantages. Some people say school is the best days of your life. I think school has its pros but I definitely think school has its cons as well. When you are out of school you are into a new phase and there are new things to appreciate and the same is true when you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, wherever. We don't just define a phase by age, it can be defined by what you happened to be doing in that part of your life. What is good about the phase of your life that you are in right now?

2. Think of something that is worth doing in this phase of your life. Instead of constantly thinking about what you want to do before you die ask yourself what would be worthwhile right now while you are in this phase. What would aid your growth and aid your learning or what would just feel like living in this phase of your life?

3. Keep a daily list of what made today count. When I started alongside my daily to-do list keeping a list of what actually made today count — sometimes it was when I got something done for my to-do list I moved it over to the list of what made today count — but it wasn't just stuff I got done, it was things that I thought or things that I experienced or moments I had with people. I don't want this to be confused with saying how many things you can get done in a day because productivity isn't the same as presence. It's not the same as being present, as actually appreciating the day, appreciating the moment, feeling and sensing and enjoying the experiences that you are having. Those aren't always to-dos.

What made today count? In that way you will begin to appreciate every single day in this phase of your life instead of getting to the end of another year and seeing that that year just went by and you barely noticed it. So that's it 3 quick things to appreciate this phase of your life. If you haven't seen Boyhood, go and watch it. If you are like me you will feel sad, because it is sad to see time go so quickly and to see someone just so swiftly move through their life and to see how quick that goes, but it also does give you such a tremendous appreciation of the time that you have now and how important it is just to try and slow it down as much as possible because this phase will be over before we know it.

I know how you feel stressed out most of the time. It's hard to keep the pace when the world is so fast around you and still find time for things that are important to you. Sometimes we make wrong decisions, misjudging what our priorities are. You work so hard so that you can provide everything for your children, you constantly make sacrifices so that you can step higher and earn more, and the very thing you most often sacrifice is your free time. The time that you could spend with your family. The time that brings true happiness to you. Your absence, however, is more harmful sometimes than you think, and lack of demonstrations of parental love affects your children more than lack of money. Sacrificing free time does not seem such a big deal as long as you are single and the full proprietor of your time. You can do with it whatever you like: work, relax or socialize. However, after your first baby was born you became responsible for the amount of time you devote to your family. You owe your free time to your children, you see. It is not just about you anymore. At some point by giving up the free time you have, basically you give up part of your family life as well as friendships that suffer from your neglect. Providing the best financial circumstances is not what makes your family happiest. It is your presence that has real value to them. Career, self-control, ambition and other obligations can wait when your family needs you. Your children need your attention and care more than everything else altogether. It makes the essence of life to know when it is best to chase success and when it is time to slow down. For you must slow down. There is no better guide than that tiny voice inside when it comes to make decisions about your time. Time has more value than you think. Time is everything. Unfortunately, we tend to waste too much of it. Wasted time will never return to you. It is late to offer grown-up children what you denied them when they were small. Time can be given away just once. Therefore, we must be careful with our decisions that seem unimportant, because those little parts make the big whole. Big changes always start with small ones, but often times people don't notice a change until it has grown to be a huge issue. Life runs away so fast! Don't fall into the trap of waking up one day to find yourself in a place where you never wished to be or in a situation that ruins your life completely. And to avoid that it is most important to know your priorities. Don't let the focus shift from what is dearest to you! Make your decisions listening to that tiny voice!